I was being whipped.
By my father.
Again.
Just a way of life. I was used to it. That didn’t mean I liked it though.
In this particular case, my dad was pissed about something I’d done, and was approaching me with a big ass switch, and anger written all over his face and in his body language.
Realizing the danger, I made a dash to get out of dodge. I was in the basement with an open garage door that led to the driveway and possible temporary freedom. That hope was short lived, as my dad caught my hand, and now I was accessible. The beating began.
I was still trying to run away, as the switch began to hit me with an amazing intensity. My dad was strong. Very strong. The switch was also strong. And so he began to vent his anger via the switch onto me. I don’t remember if this is one of the times I refused to cry. At least, not with the yelling and sobbing. No way to stop the tears from flowing, as continued to feel the lashing on my legs, butt, back… wherever my dad could lash at me.
I am sure that my dad was yelling at me about all the things I did wrong, and why I deserved this treatment. Typically, he would be incapable of explaining it logically, and typically, his response was way out of control.
I was still running, trying to run away as my dad whipped me. This wound up with me running in a circle, and my dad just spinning and spinning with me as he beat me and beat me. I am sure this also angered him, as he hated it when his children didn’t treat him with all the respect that he thought he deserved. Which was in reality, none.
Finally, the whipping stopped. Perhaps my dad was worn out. Whipping and beating someone can take a lot out of you. Perhaps he felt the proper amount of punishment had been dispensed. Ultimately, this meant I was free to go and reflect on the terrible things I had done.
I don’t remember where I went. Perhaps to the bathroom, perhaps to my room. But I did peel off my pants and examine the damage. I definitely qualified for the title of “whipping boy” in this case. The welts were pretty deep, and very plentiful.
It again intensified my desire to find him when he was asleep and tie him up. Then, wake him. Once he was awake, I wanted to beat him, beat him, beat him the way he beat me.
As a child, I thought that this was the appropriate punishment for my father.
As an adult. I still do.
Your father will one day pay for all those beatings he gave you. I too had a “dad” that thought that was proper punishment for 30 minutes at a time. I know that I’m suppose to forgive him and I belive that I have tried, to this day I still can’t speak to him or face him. When my children were born I stopped all communication with him for fear that I would treat my kids as myself and my siblings were treated. Thank God for giving me the grace and patience were my children are concerned. Is it bad that I hope one day that, that dad has to pay for all the beatings he gave? I believe in discipline and I believe in a strong discipline any disrespectful actions should be dealt with a paddle to the butt once or twice, a pinch under the arm in public if you are misbehaving, but never a bruise or blood, or a switch to your whole backside. Reading about all these innocent children being abused today brings out an anger in me that I try to keep away. …. so yes, I hope all the child abusers burn in hell one day.
Wow!
First, thank you for sharing!
And I understand your position, and cannot disagree with you. Too many child abusers get off way too easy.
The most important thing is to remember that it happened to you, don’t let it become you. Easier said than done, but has to be done. Good for you for moving on, and overcoming.
Again, thanks for taking the time, and telling your story.
My dad whipped me naked with a switch until I was 16. I’d have to stand in front of him with my hands on my head, and if I moved he would start over. He’d whip me from to to bottom, front and back. He whipped me so hard the welts would be bleeding. It seemed like my entire body was on fire. I’ve never forgiven him and don’t think I ever will.
Hey there Maryanne – Just now seeing your comment and so approved it.
That is indeed horrendous. I’m sorry that this happened to you.
As far as the forgiveness? I don’t blame you. You don’t have to forgive such as that!
And thank you for taking a moment and sharing. Sincerely. – John Chapman