I Started Life Clinically Shy

I used to be extremely shy.

Probably, clinically shy.

If you are someone who meets me now, you’d be quite surprised to know this.

I don’t know EXACTLY why I was this way (I have a few ideas), but it is certain it wasn’t from too much encouragement and support from my dad.

However, what I have learned is that shy people are overly concerned about what others think of them. For me, in my life now, I don’t give a shit.

To be clear, I absolutely do work on living my life as someone who cares, someone who is thoughtful, someone that is there for friends and (some) family. But, if you don’t perceive me in the reality of the way I am living my life, I am not worried about it. I am living my life by my creed, and as long as I am achieving the things that matter to me, that is all that matters.

The best that I can remember of my first shy moment is in 1st grade. We had listened to the story of the “Three Billy Goats Gruff”, and then we were instructed to draw a picture of the story. Now what I did was draw the bridge broken in half, and both ends down in the water. When the teacher asked me about it, I explained, “This was so the trolls could not hide under the bridge to sneak up on the goats.”

Easy enough, right? Well, the teacher did not let it go. For some reason, this impressed her, so she took me around to talk to other teachers and showing them what I did. There may or may not have been a display to my classmates.

I was mortified.

I learned from this, that to do anything unique was to stand out. And guess what? I didn’t want to stand out in any way. This was all compounded by many other factors in my life, but as that young child I learned how to stop getting attention.

A few years later, I was getting teased about my name. My first name is “Dewey”, and the kids were teasing me, calling me “Dewey Chewey”, and asking where Huey and Louie were.

Enough is enough. I marched my 8 year old (or so) self down to the office, and demanded that they change my name on my records to John. They resisted. But they complied.

So. Whenever the change finally came through, the teacher called out “John”, and I happily responded.

My relief was short-lived.

Now, how a third-grade kid knew that another name for a toilet or bathroom was the word “john”, I’ll never know. I didn’t at the time, but I learned quickly enough.

Phrases like, “Open up your mouth John, I gotta go to the John”, were thrown about. NOT exciting.

I remember even today thinking to myself, “I made this WORSE!”. But, I left it alone.

So, all through school, I was practically paralyzed whenever I had to talk or interact. I buried myself in books, and tried to tune out the world.

Fast forward to after I graduated High School, and it was time to find a job. The thought of going on job interviews, talking to people, interacting – scared the crap out of me. So it was convenient that I had no skills, no ambition and no desire to talk to people and my dad worked construction. Low skill labor was always needed, and he was probably delighted to teach me the value in working hard (but not smart, if you know him). I worked this job for a few years, and physically, it was good for me. I lost weight. I built up my muscles, and I in the course of work, would interact with others.

See, in real life, I pretended my best to not be shy, but the wrenching in my gut, the terror, the anxiety – was always there. Just meeting someone new, shaking their hand and telling them it was good to meet them was rough. But at times, I had to do this, and it was good for me.

I be-bopped around, worked different jobs and eventually went to school and got a degree in Electronics. The job that resulted out of that was working as a copier tech for Konica. I was somewhere around 23-24 yrs old. They sent me to training, and when I came back, I worked in the shop for a bit. Then… it was time for me to go out into the field.

I remember on my first appointment approaching the customers facility. I was so struggling. I did NOT want to go in. I did NOT want to say anything. I did NOT want someone looking me in my eyes and expecting me to say/do anything coherent. But, enter in I did.

I walked in, with my toolkit in hand, and went to the front counter. This was actually a “Mailboxes, Etc”. I told them, “Hi, I’m John Chapman. I’m from Konica and I’m here to look at your copier”. These were very difficult words to say. The response was, “Hi, it’s the machine over there. Let me show you what it is doing”. They provided samples of the problem, and I proceeded to get to work.

As you can imagine, the exposure of doing this 2 to 6 times a day, calling customers and arranging appointments, quickly got me used to the interaction. Not that it was awesomely comfortable. It was tolerable, but that was all.

Somewhere around this time, maybe even before this, I started listening to a vast amount of motivational audio by various speakers. I had no idea such a thing existed, and the impact on me was significant.

I spent almost 5 years at Konica, and by the end of it, I was so much more used to interacting with people. While I was at Konica, I started learning about computers and the Internet.

I left Konica, quickly went through two different employers, and then I started my own consulting company, focused on Computers, Networks and Internet. I learned a lot. I changed a lot.

I operated my little company for almost 5 years, and then took a job in I.T. as a tech. I enjoyed it. By this time, I was starting to learn to enjoy people, although I still had my moments. And I was still learning patience, as well. I’ve worked for a number of companies as a tech and have really enjoyed it. Each time I learned more about working and enjoying people ( I have learned I have a distaste for office politics, though).

A couple of years ago, I made a move on a dream of mine. The general dream was to move to the Rocky Mountains. But, I had discovered the Pacific Northwest, and my dream was modified. After visiting Washington State in person on vacation, I pulled the trigger. I turned in my 30-day notice and headed west. This was one of the most amazing things I have ever done.

Now, it is two years later. And I am the most content, the happiest with myself, the most confident, the best that I have ever been.

My main takeaway is to not worry or think about what others think. Just be the person that you want to be, and work on your dreams.

Whadda ya think? Are you shy? Have you got over being shy? Comment down below!